So we’ve all been in that situation driving around block after block for a half hour and still haven’t found a place to park. This is usually the point, where you realize that you are going to have to park illegally or go crazy trying to cram your car into another spot it won’t fit.  Here’s my guide on how to best park illegally.

Your #1 goal when parking illegally is to have your car still be there when you get back. To best avoid having your car towed, don’t piss anyone off. For example blocking their car or blocking their driveway. I’m pretty sure that 90% of the people in the city who have a driveway or garage monitor them continuously with cameras. The other 10% are always at their window watching, and 100% of them have the tow companies on speed dial. So best to avoid those spots.

The other way your car can be towed is by parking in a Tow Away zone, these are best avoided too. You are less likely to be towed then if blocking a driveway, since parking enforcement will have to notice you in the zone. But the hassle of having to go downtown, pay the towing fine, the parking fine and waiting for them to drag your car out of impound is not worth it.  If you are feeling this desperate drive to the Outer Sunset and just take Muni back in.

Your secondary goal is to not get a ticket. You are parking illegally so by definition you run the risk, but you can minimize your chances and cost. The best way to avoid a ticket is to not have your car stand out. Don’t leave it jutting out into an intersection, parked on the sidewalk or any other conspicuous spots. If a parking enforcement
person can’t help but notice your car, they are guaranteed to write you a ticket.

Instead, take those end spots which have lines painted, but you know can fit another car or two. Try the red zone that is there for no reason. I’d avoid hydrants and handicap spots, too cost prohibitive. A simple red zone violation may only be $30, but a handicap spot can be over $200.

Also remember if parking on a hill, curb your tires, these tickets are $35 and they will give you two tickets if you are parked in a red zone and didn’t curb your tires. Double whammy.  You can almost see their smile shining through on the tickets.

This guide was conceived during hours of parking searches and a few checks to the DPT.
Good luck and may the parking karma be with you.